


Didn't You Catch My Signals?

by insecureboyy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insecureboyy/pseuds/insecureboyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how Dean falls in love with the boy next door, Cas.</p>
<p>And doesn't do a good job of showing it.</p>
<p>(Yes, this is Dean's P.O.V of "I Didn't Choose To Love Him" And yes, he's still an arse. But it basically shows why he did what he did.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Didn't You Catch My Signals?

His Dad had always taught him stuff from an early age.

At 4 he'd learned that all that mattered: Was Sammy.

His mother had gotten killed in a fire, and his Dad put his brother in his arms, and with that, he ran.

Some nights he still remembered the smell of smoke and the shouts of agony coming from within the home he'd grown to love.

At age 6, his father put his first gun in the boy's small hands. They shook slightly, with fear. But his Dad spat at him, with venomous words.

"Men don't cry. Sissies cry. Are you a pussy Dean? Huh?!"

No.

A shot rang through the room, and a mark was left in the wall.

Now, the walls were filled with holes. Memories of the days where his Dad would scream at him to stop being such a pussy and fucking shoot.

At 7, his Dad took him to a bar. He wasn't allowed to drink, of course. But he slowly watched his Dad drink his mind away.

Later that night he was beaten with a belt after asking when they would leave this hellhole.

At 8, he'd convinced his father to at least take them to the park. His father only agreed, because Sammy was whining about it.

He'd run around with his little brother for awhile. Playing tag, hide and seek, etc.

He ran into a little girl, whom looked about six. She had flaming red hair and was playing with this stupid red bouncy ball. He was about to say sorry, when his Dad grabbed his arm and yanked him up, shouting to him about what a baby and how stupid he was.

Then he saw a boy, about his age. With black hair and a trenchcoat that was WAY too baggy on the boy. He'd yell at the girl about if she felt dizzy or anything. Then he saw the boy's eyes. Beautiful blue eyes, like diamonds.

"It wasn't my fault! It was the stupid Milton's fault!" He mumbled. His father only grabbed him and pulled him away, Sammy trotting after them.

He was spanked mercilessly for a whole hour that night. Then another whole was added to the wall.

Sammy snuck into his room with an ice pack, which he thankfully put on his bum. It stung for days after that.

"'M sorry Dean.." The smaller boy said.

"It's fine.."

And with that, "Moose" as he'd like to call his little brother, hugged him tightly.

They eventually fell asleep, in a warm embrace that made his heart swell with a warmth, that he'd felt for the boy in the baggy trenchcoat next door.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Dean!" Sammy yelled downstairs "Answer the door for me, please?!"

Dean just rolled his eyes, and the doorbell rang again.

"DEAN!"

"Fine!" Dean opened the door, and stared out into the cold night to see none other than those blue eyes staring right back.

"Hello, Dean." The gravelly voice said. Man puberty hit him hard. Not only his voice, but the trenchcoat fit, barely. The pants didn't leave much to the imagination either.

Before he could say anything, the moose he'd called a brother grasped the boy's arm and quickly tugged him upstairs.

He didn't know why he felt a tang of jealousy, but he did. Castiel, whatever the fuck kind of name that was, is Sam's tutor. He knew they were also close friends, but it still hurt a little.

Later Dean had made burgers, 7. 4 for Dean, and if Sam didn't want the rest, then guess who got more?

This guy.

Their father was out of town, of course, so he was left to cook and clean the house. But he didn't mind, really, having his Dad away was a usual thing. Plus, that meant less beatings.

Sammy said that Cas was joining them for dinner, and he felt a little pity for the look of pure terror on the other boy's face.

Dean opened his mouth to object, but then was greeted with none other than, Sam bitch face #5, A.K.A. "I won't talk to you for a week unless I get what I want."

"What do you want on your burger Cas?" He asked, walking into the kitchen to fetch a plate.

After their food was ready, they were sitting at the table. Cas was shaking like a leaf, and Sammy was frowning at him.

It was kind of weird, and the boy was either staring at Sammy, or Dean. It gave him the willies.

"Sammy, can you get your friend to stop freaking out? He's kind of creeping me out." He snapped, and soon regretted it as he saw the look of pain in those pale blue eyes.

"Cas? Cas are you okay?" Sammy asked, giving him his best puppy eyes. That made the boy relax a little, but he was still quite freaked out.

The boy shook his head, and he looked like he was about to throw up. "Cas. Calm down." His brother put a hand on his shoulders, and there was that pang of jealousy again.

Cas quickly backed up his chair, almost falling down. He'd stood up quickly, and yelled an excuse before locking himself in the bathroom.

For two hours.

Guilt overwhelmed Dean, and all he wanted was to kiss the boy and tell him that it was alright.

No, no.. What was he even thinking?!

He wasn't gay, right?

No, he couldn't be. His father would only think he was a "pussy", a dick loving cumslut.

The boy eventually came out of the room, and he looked like a train-reck. The boy wouldn't even look in his eyes, and he felt a strong yearning for those diamond eyes.

Shit.

He was in love with the boy next door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sam had ended up convincing him to go to the boy's birthday party, with a promise of pie and beer.

He tried to hide his smirk. The boy would be 18. Talk about birthday sex, huh?

He spent while making sure he looked good for Cas. Hair was fine, clothes? Good. Smelly? He sniffed his armpit. Nope. Perfect as apple pie on a summer's day.

"Dean! Come. On!" He heard his brother huff and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, and followed his brother out the door and to the house next door.

His brother knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal the boy he'd grown to love.

"We would of been here sooner, but Dean doesn't have interest in anyone but himself, apparently."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." His brother said with an eye roll and a bitchface, with was number dos, the "Fuck you Dean you assbutt"

"Sorry, may we come in?" Sammy asked, and Cas nodded slowly, opening the door wider and stepping aside, letting the two boys in.

Dean had a quick look around, sniffing the air with his pie senses. Hopefully there'd be cherry pie.

Nothin' better than a fuckin' face-full of cherry pie, right?

"So.. Pie?" Dean asked, a grin on his face. He could just taste it.

Instead of getting pie, he ended up getting squashed on a one seater chair, with who other than?

Cas.

"Ehm.. No.. No pie, sorry. Gabriel insisted on cake.." The boy piped up, a frown on his face.

He rolled his eyes, and sighed. "Sammy you said there'd be pie. That's the only reason I went to this stupid place." Which was a lie. He came for Cas too. Yup. That boy was as good as pie.

"S-Stupid?" Cas blurted out, and he stared at him. Shit. Not again.

Please say he didn't mess up AGAIN.

He watched the boy blink back tears, and all he wanted to do was lean closer and kiss them away. God, what a coward he was.

Castiel ran upstairs, mumbling something about putting the presents away.

That night, about a hundred holes were added to the wall, as he drowned out the sounds of his brother's screaming.

~~~~~~~~~~

He stared at himself in the mirror.

He'd graduated. A miracle, with his grades.

Of course his Dad wasn't there. He never was.

He'd practiced his speech for months. Memorized it by heart, right next to Cas' favorite songs, Sam's birthday, and Hey Jude.

He wanted his Mom to be here, to kiss him on the cheek and tell him how proud she was.

"Angels are watching over you Dean, I've always told you that."

Maybe she was too.

"Dean! Hurry up!" Sammy yelled outside his door, and he could practically see the bitchface.

"I'm comin'.." He smirked "Bitch."

"Jerk."

He heard the footsteps walking away, and he quickly followed after, they headed into the Impala, and he drove a few inches to Cas' lawn.

Sammy got out and knocked on the door, and Dean leaned against his baby whilst he waited, also whistling Stairway To Heaven.

Sammy came back with Cas, also in his graduation gown and cap. The trenchcoat surprisingly abandoned.

He opened the door for the boy, and watched as he hesitated for a second before quickly getting in.

They drove to the destination, and he kept glancing in the rear-view mirror at Cas. God, he was cute.

As they got out, Dean headed off to go meet up with Jo. He wasn't seated next to her, so might as well chat for a little.

As they announced that they should all take their seats, Dean hurriedly made his way to his seat. He sat next to Cas, thank god, and watched him shiver.

Definitely adorable.

"Cold?" He asked, and the boy's head shot up, followed by a quick nod.

He pulled out a jacket he'd taken just in case, wrapping it around the boy's shoulders.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, until Cas went up to give his speech. The boy was awkward, but he loved that about him.

Sadly, when Dean was called up, he saw Castiel nowhere in the crowd.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Dean! Listen to me okay?!" His brother shouted, shaking his shoulders.

"No!" Dean snapped, and he didn't want to admit, but tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"And WHY is that?!" Sam huffed out, crossing his arms.

"Because.. HE is leaving! He's leaving! For.. Fucking.. Stanford!" Dean growled out, hands balling into fists.

Cas had only left a voice mail to Sam, telling him he was leaving in about an hour, and that he'd miss him.

"So?!"

"So?! SO?!" He screamed out, the tears flowing like a stream.

"What are you a pussy, boy?! Man up!" His fathers words rang in his head.

No. No.

No he wasn't.

"I'll be back." Was all he said, and with that he climbed into the impala and left his brother staring at him in shock.

He drove as fast as he could to the airport, almost getting in a wreck. His eyes stung.

"What?! You gonna cry boy?! MAN. UP."

"SHUT UP!" He screamed, speeding up. He quickly parked and ran inside. He ran to the woman at the front desk.

"Where's the flight to Washington?!" He blurt out, and he listened to her slow tapping on the keyboard.

"I'll find it." He spat out, running off. He searched everywhere.

"CAS?!" He screamed out, and then he saw it. The baggy trenchcoat. He ran towards it, and watched the boy turn around, the pale blue eyes warming his heart.

"Dean?" The man mumbled, obviously very confused.

He stopped abruptly, panting to catch his breath. Between breaths, he managed out the words ""Y-You didn't.. Say.. Goodbye.."

"I em.. I didn't think you wanted me too.." The boy said, making Dean pause, and his heart hurt, and the "I thought you hated me." made him want to kiss the boy right there.

"Hate you?!" He yelled out, and ignored the people staring at him. "Hate you?" He said quieter now, then let out a chuckle. "God you idiot, I love you."

"Love me?" Castiel said, confused, but his eyes glistening with hope.

"Yes you ass." He mumbled, not adding the butt to the end of it. He kissed him, and it honestly, felt like fucking heaven.

Definitely better than cherry pie.

He felt the boy's hands grip his leather jacket, which he'd honestly forgotten he'd put on before he left. Must be a habit.

Kissing Cas was definitely going to add to his list of habits.

He reluctantly pulled away, because well, humans need to breathe. Though he would like to die kissing Cas.

"I love you too.." The boy replied, and Dean's heart swelled with the warmth he'd gotten used to a long time ago.

They ended up kissing a lot.

Definitely a new hobby.

**Author's Note:**

> I Didn't Choose To Love Him: http://lategirl123.deviantart.com/art/I-Didn-t-Choose-To-Love-Him-Destiel-oneshot-453503428
> 
> DA: http://lategirl123.deviantart.com/
> 
> Tumblr: http://theyogfan123.tumblr.com/


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